So, I was a little reluctant to write this post let alone publish it. But I figured its good to get circumstances out there, be they positive or negative.
Anyway this week has been SH1T and training has been non-existent due to a shoulder injury. This has caused a spiralling effect that has returned me back to facing my inner critic; and losing (to a degree).
As I have mentioned in previous posts, I have been on a long journey of self-discovery since Dec 14. One element of this journey has been the ability to disassociate with my inner critic. You know, the vile Gollum creature who tells you that you are not worthy; you can’t do this; you will always fail. The disassociation has been a hard wall to scale, but one that I had climbed to the top of and was getting over the other side. That was until I injured myself and then lost motivation to train through extreme tiredness due lack of sleep because of the pain in my shoulder. This then snowballed as my loss of motivation seemed to be the fuel for my inner critic telling me that I was going to fail. This brought on less motivation and so the snowball grew and grew taking me back down the rabbit hole to my deep dark place, the same place I was in after my trauma.
How did I get out of this spiralling pit? Well I woke at 4am today, with an absolute desperate need to overcome this awful feeling I had inside and get back on track, but just needed a little extra help. So, off to YouTube!!! YouTube has been without doubt one of my saviours along my journey.
This video has helped tremendously and spoke directly to me; my enemy has always been my mind.
I’m massively proud of the person I am becoming, but I am humble enough to admit when I need help. So today my journey started again, yes, this week will be written off as another learning curve but I know I WILL succeed, because if I can over come what I’ve been through coming through the other side a stronger person, I can achieve anything.
Hope you’re having a fab weekend.